Parental Loneliness and Cultivating Community with Forest School
It takes a village… but where do I find one?
It might feel overwhelming to admit that we feel lonely, especially as parents.
Social media reigns supreme but we’re all hungry for real, genuine social connection.
We can count all our blessings, have a heart full of love for our kids and family – and we can still be lonely.
It’s perfectly normal, and the truth is that you’re not alone.
So how can we combat this? And what does forest school have to do with it?
The epidemic of loneliness
Social connection is a deeply ingrained human necessity, as crucial to our well-being as food, water, and shelter. Throughout history, our ability to rely on one another has been essential for survival. Even in modern times, we are biologically wired to seek social interaction.
Our brains are have evolved to expect closeness with others, and our ancestors depended on communal support to meet their basic needs. Living in isolation or outside of a group meant facing survival challenges alone, which required immense effort and reduced the chances of thriving.
Despite the conveniences of modern life that allow us to live more independently, our inherent need for connection remains steadfast.
But the sad truth is that a lot of us are socially under-nourished.
And this has serious implications for our health and wellbeing.
According to a report by the U.S. Surgeon General in 2023 on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community, a lack of social connection poses a significant risk for individual health and longevity.
“Loneliness and social isolation increase the risk for premature death by 26% and 29% respectively. More broadly, lacking social connection can increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. In addition, poor or insufficient social connection is associated with increased risk of disease, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke. Furthermore, it is associated with increased risk for anxiety, depression, and dementia. Additionally, the lack of social connection may increase susceptibility to viruses and respiratory illness.”
I don’t know about you, but I found this deeply shocking.
But the prevalence of loneliness in Australia is even more shocking.
In 2022, KPMG reported that loneliness is experienced by more than one-quarter of Australians and most Australians will experience loneliness in their lifetime. However, there are some groups that are more susceptible than others. Young adults were identified as most at risk, but close behind them was – you guessed it – parents.
Parental Loneliness
Parental loneliness is a common issue that many mums and dads face in their daily lives. Trying to juggle the responsibilities of parenting, work, and personal life is a lot! And it can sometimes leave us feeling isolated and disconnected.
This is especially hard if you don’t have an extended family network nearby. Maybe you’ve chosen to (or been forced to) move your family to a new location for work, economic or lifestyle reasons.
Parenting can feel especially lonely when living far away from family and friends, with limited social support, and the everyday challenges of modern life.
It's essential for us, as parents, to acknowledge and address these emotions, knowing that we're not alone in this journey.
But we can’t ignore the fact that the last few years have been extra hard on parents.
While the worst of the pandemic is behind us, its impacts live on. Just over half (54%) of Australians reported that they felt lonelier since the start of the pandemic. We don’t like to remember these times, but the impact this time had on our social connectedness needs to be acknowledged.
Mothers gave birth in isolation, babies missed out on meeting their extended families, playgrounds were closed, and families were dealing with all sorts of stressors during strange times, often without support.
Regardless of what we went through, individually and collectively, the truth is the same as it has always been – we all need community.
Connecting with other parents and seeking support can make a significant difference in overcoming parental loneliness and finding a sense of community and understanding.
So how do we make it happen? And how do we find “our people”?
The Benefits of Forest School for Parents
So much has been written on the benefits of Forest School for children, but could the benefits be just as significant for parents?
We think the answer is yes.
Sure, the focus of forest school is on giving children the space they need to play and grow at their own pace, surrounded by nature, and with a variety of tools and resources at their disposal to ignite their creativity and imagination.
But guess what – there’s a little child in all of us who needs the exact same things.
Parenting can often mean giving and giving and giving to our little people, leaving us with little or no time or energy to give back to ourselves.
At forest school, both you AND your child get to reap the benefits of time spent outdoors.
And when it comes to wellbeing, there’s nothing like nature for full-spectrum nourishment.
· Breathing fresh air in the outdoors improves respiratory and cardiovascular function and increases oxygen intake and lung capacity.
· Exposure to natural sunlight allows our bodies to produce vitamin D, which is essential for bone health and immune function.
· The calming effect of nature, known as "biophilia," helps lower cortisol levels (stress hormone) and induces relaxation.
· Spending time outdoors and breathing better oxygen can boost serotonin levels, known as the "happy hormone," leading to improved mood and overall mental wellbeing.
· Fresh air and outdoor activities can revitalize the body and mind, leading to increased energy levels and a sense of vitality.
· Being in natural surroundings has been linked to improved focus, attention, and cognitive function. Nature walks and outdoor experiences can enhance creativity and problem-solving abilities.
· Exposure to natural light and fresh air during the day can positively impact sleep patterns, leading to better quality sleep at night.
· Spending time outdoors allows us to connect with nature and its beauty, leading to feelings of awe, wonder, and gratitude, which can further enhance our overall wellbeing.
· Fresh air and time spent outdoors can strengthen the immune system, making it more resilient and better equipped to fight off illnesses.
· Being outdoors often encourages physical activity, which is beneficial for both physical and mental health.
All these benefits, and we haven’t even mentioned the big one – coming to forest school means you’re entering a space of intentional community. So we’re getting all the nature benefits PLUS the social connection too!
Cultivating Community at Forest School
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – and sometimes getting out the front door is the hardest step!
Forest School is a place where everyone belongs, because in truth –
we all belong to Mother Earth, and forest school is simply a place where we remember that we’re always at home in nature.
In the forest, we find ourselves surrounded by our kith and kin – the plants and animals, the trees and the waters, the birds and the fungi.
We step back into relationship with nature, first and foremost, and then we step back into relationship with our human family.
Everyone at forest school is seeking similar things, such as:
- A reprieve from the intense demands of daily life, both for themselves and their children.
- An opportunity to indulge in biophilia, a love of the natural world.
- Positive, encouraging and respectful relationships for themselves and their children.
- A non-judgmental space where we can all grow at our own pace, and most importantly –
- Fun! Laughter, joy, celebration, connection, freedom – the list goes on.
Making new friends as a parent can feel a little intimidating, but forest school is a space where connection happens organically.
Children are allowed and encouraged to explore self-directed play, which means they don’t have to do anything they’re not ready to do. And the same goes for parents.
You don’t have to participate if that’s not your jam. Maybe it’s just too much today.
But maybe next week you might feel different. Maybe next week, your kids start playing together, and you look at each other with mutual joy seeing your children engrossed in imaginative play. Maybe you exchange a few words and realise you have more in common than you might think.
Maybe someone opens up to you about a struggle they’re going through, and you’ve been through the same thing. Maybe you help each other. Or maybe you just share a laugh and a groan at how hard it can be sometimes to raise little people.
We come to forest school for our children, but we keep coming back for ourselves.
At forest school, the children are at the centre, but a child’s sense of wellbeing is largely dependent on their parents and families. When our cup is full, we have so much more patience, love and energy to share with our children.
We often have families join us who have just moved to the area, or they’re just embarking on a homeschooling journey. These times can feel incredibly lonely and vulnerable, especially as we try to stay strong for our kids.
Stepping into the forest, seeing ourselves, our hopes and dreams, our struggles and concerns, reflected back at us through the eyes of our fellow parents – it’s sometimes all we need. We don’t need someone else to solve all our problems (although, let’s be real, that would be amazing), we just need to know we’re not alone.
From this place, cultivating community happens organically. Just as root systems expand over time, so the bonds between parents and families deepen over weeks and months.
And then, one day, you look around, and the barren expanse of your loneliness has been replaced by a flourishing garden of connectivity, spotted with fragrant friendships and vibrant conversations, buzzing with life in a thriving relational ecosystem.
If you’re craving connection for you and your children, both to fellow humans and the natural world, there’s always a space for you at Wildlings Forest School. For more information, check out our range of programs on our bookings page and connect with us on our socials @wildlings_forestschool.
We hope to see you in the forest soon! Stay Wild x
Written by Ellen Nesbitt. Ellen is a nature play advocate and creative writer with a passion for helping families connect with the outdoors. She is dedicated to exploring ways to nurture children's creativity, independence, wellbeing and love for nature.