RISKY PLAY 101
If risky play sounds like a recipe for disaster and a fast track to grey hairs, think again.
Risky play is an essential part of childhood and a necessary part of supporting healthy growth and development.
WHAT IS RISKY PLAY?
Once upon a time, what we now call ‘risky play’ was just called play.
Things like:
Climbing trees
Rolling down steep hills
Swinging as high as possible on a swing or rope
Hanging upside down
Balancing at heights
Throwing rocks
Playing with tools that could cut and pierce
Spinning around as fast as possible just to see how dizzy you could get
Playing with fire
Playing hide and seek over large areas
If you’ve engaged in any of these kinds of play, you know first-hand the joys and benefits of risky play.
But for many children growing up today, these activities are completely foreign.
While there’s many possible reasons for this, we can probably put it down to the fact that parenting styles of times gone by were more hands off, with different boundaries. ‘Be home by sunset’ or ‘Don’t leave the suburb’ were commonplace limitations, whereas parents of today might feel uncomfortable allowing their children that much space to roam.
But what does this mean for child development? And is increased supervision keeping them safe?
The answers might surprise you.
Even though the logical answer might be ‘yes – I’m keeping my kids safe by limiting the risks they’re exposed to’ – the answer is a resounding NO.
The simple reason? KIDS NEED RISK.
6 types of risky play
Ellen Sandseter has identified six categories of risks that children seem attracted to, these are: great heights, rapid speeds, dangerous tools, dangerous elements, rough and tumble, and disappearing/getting lost.
Risk is an essential part of life, and an essential part of growing up.
When kids engage in risky play, they learn about themselves. They experience their bodies, emotions and environments in new and stimulating ways which are essential for their growth and development.
And the research backs this up. Studies conducted with other young mammals, such as goat kids and young chimpanzees, reveal that risky play is a normal and necessary part of childhood development.
Without risky play, animals, and children, suffer.
RISKY PLAY IS ESSENTIAL FOR CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT
As Peter Gray explains, young rats who have been deprived of play during critical phases of development grow up emotionally crippled. Not only that, but they also swing between paralysis and aggression when meeting new peers, are overly fearful when placed in new environments and fail to explore their environment as other young rats would.
In short, the lack of exposure to risky play affects their emotional regulation.
Why? Because when kids play with risk, they learn to manage their own feelings of fear and anger.
Risky play is essential to growing happy, grounded, and emotionally intelligent kids.
When kids are allowed to play with risk, they experience manageable levels of fear and have the chance to practice holding themselves through this emotion. Similarly, while engaging in rough and tumble play, children might experience anger if one person accidentally hurts another. But as Peter Gray says, to continue playing, to continue the fun, they must overcome that anger. If they lash out, the play is over. In this simulated play, they can overcome negative emotions and learn to manage their feelings in close quarters with other people.
What this all means is that children are building up essential survival skills that positively influence their ability to cope in demanding or dangerous situations.
While this is not something we would ever want our children to encounter, we must return to the main point here – PROTECTING THEM FROM RISK IS NOT PROTECTING THEM FROM DANGER.
Letting children experience risky play sets them up with the skills and confidence to face real dangers and real challenges when they occur. Because let’s face it, we can’t be there to protect our children at every turn. What we can do is prepare them as best we can to respond to life’s ups and downs with the ability to emotionally self-regulate.
This means not interfering when you see children engaging in any of Sandseter’s categories of risky play.
IS RISKY PLAY NEGLIGENT?
It’s not negligent to let them push their boundaries, and there is still a way to support their risk-taking while encouraging them to actively risk assess. At Wildlings, we try to avoid the phrase “be careful”, opting for open-ended questioning such as:
- Wow, you seem to be getting quite high up that tree! Have you thought about how you might get down?
- I love seeing how much fun you’re having rolling down that grassy slope. Just keep in mind that there’s a rocky patch towards the bottom. How would that feel if you rolled into it?
- What’s your vision for this game? I’m concerned that tug-of-war might not be in the best location. Can you see anything that might make this unsafe?
For more tips on what to say instead of “be careful”, check out this free downloadable on what to say during risky play.
The point is, by supporting risky play we’re opening up incredible opportunities for growth and development, and empowering children to become aware of their own safety and the consequences of their decisions.
While it might mean being prepared for cuts and bruises, it’s a risk we’re willing to take.
Join us on our mission to normalise risky play and follow us on our socials @wildlings_forestschool.