Death & Decay at Forest School
I dig a small hole with the heel of my boot in the soft, sandy earth and lay the small body of the dead possum in it.
The children gently cover the body with soil, and say “Goodbye, Possum.”
A child asks what will happen to it?
A parent says mushrooms will grow.
We agree that it will break down and go back to the earth.
Miss E suggests we pick flowers for the grave.
We look around, see some yellow Singapore Daisies on the side of the field where we found the body, and pick a couple each.
The children wander back and place some flowers on the grave.
We share a moment of silence together, the parents hanging back allowing the children to make a ceremony together.
We wish the possum a peaceful rest, and walk out into the sunshine.
Mr K is an avid animal lover. He loves to pick up worms and bugs and look for eels in the creek. He was one of the first to find the body, resting in the shade of a large Camphor Laurel tree on the far side of the athletics oval at our Sunshine Coast site. He reached out to stroke the fur in fascination, and Mr C copied. It was soft. There was no blood or signs of death other than a few flies buzzing around - and the open, unseeing eyes.
We quickly cleaned those hands and cautioned no touching, but we all hovered close and had a good look at the creature.
The kindy kids asked how it died, we said we didn’t know. Perhaps it fell from the tree, perhaps it was just the possum’s time to go?
I reached out with my hand covered in a plastic bag and turned over the corpse. We marvelled at its fine features, small round ears, and petite claws.
There is some confusion as to how it can be dead and have its eyes open.
After the ceremony, we head back to the creek to play.
Miss E keeps a flower and asks me to put it in her braid.
Miss O keeps talking about the mouse’s eye.
On Death & Decay at Forest School:
"There is an absence of decay in life today. Children don’t even see vegetables rot, because vegetables just go in the bin. Indoor life is sterile, but we don’t need to self-consciously discuss death with the children at Forest School; outdoors, it is encountered quite naturally, and can be experienced in an undistressing way.
This absence of bother about death is another small revelation for me; children are neither squeamish, mawkish nor fearful about dead things, until we teach them to be. The deaths of animals, particularly pets, may be a real tragedy for small children but they are also a gentle rehearsal for the bludgeoning hit of loss when a human loved one dies. The rituals matter too. Taking grief seriously, giving it pomp and ceremony, consoles us when someone we are close to dies and so it is with pets. There is something profoundly comforting about putting a corpse in the ground. It just seems right. Back to the soil, a natural end."
- Patrick Barkham, author of Wild Child
The topic of death has come up frequently in our family and at Forest Kindy over the past few weeks. Stories of finding dead baby birds, pets dying, leaves changing colour, mushrooms blooming then decomposing, losing relatives.
The conversations have been quite matter of fact, peppered with curious questions and compassionately shared stories of when the children have been through similar times.
It’s been a beautiful time of understanding and shared experiences and the conversations have arisen so naturally - when a child has a natural curiosity, when we find something in the Forest, or when something has come up in their lives that needs processing.
As Patrick says, “Becoming more intimate with nature is one way to recreate a healthier relationship with death and the dead. The experience of the lives and deaths of other animals offers children all kinds of opportunities to think about death, though often it is adults who require this rather more urgently.”
Conversations about Death
Talking to children about death can be a delicate task, but it's an essential part of their understanding of the world around them. Young children often approach the subject with curiosity, but they may struggle to grasp the biological basis of death.
As parents, it's crucial to be open and honest, acknowledging their questions as opportunities to nurture their understanding and address their feelings. Listening to their concerns and gauging their level of comprehension can guide the conversation, ensuring that explanations are age-appropriate and sensitive to their emotional needs.
Research suggests that children gradually develop a deeper understanding of death between the ages of four and 11, influenced by their experiences and cultural beliefs. While religion and culture play a role in shaping their perceptions, it's important to provide clear and honest explanations, avoiding ambiguity or oversimplification. By acknowledging the uncertainties surrounding death and respecting diverse beliefs, parents can foster tolerance and appreciation for life's mysteries.
Above all, it's essential to acknowledge and validate children's feelings of sadness or worry about death, offering realistic reassurance and support. Whether discussing the loss of a loved one, an animal, or addressing their own mortality, children benefit from truthful explanations and opportunities to express their emotions.
By engaging in open and honest conversations, parents can help children navigate the complex and often challenging concept of death with understanding and resilience.
Learning Through Play
Playing outside in nature provides children with the opportunity to encounter and understand the concept of death in a natural and organic setting.
Unlike sanitised environments, the outdoors introduces kids to the life cycle firsthand, allowing them to witness the natural processes of birth, growth, decay, and renewal.
Whether it's observing fallen leaves, exploring decomposing logs, or discovering the life cycle of insects, these encounters foster a deeper connection to the natural world.
Such experiences enable children to develop a more grounded and realistic understanding of the cycle of life, instilling a sense of empathy, resilience, and appreciation for the interconnectedness of all living things.
In embracing the authentic lessons nature has to offer, kids not only gain knowledge about the impermanence of life but also cultivate a profound respect for the balance and beauty inherent in the circle of existence.
We’d love to hear from you!
Do you have a special story about encountering death in the forest? How do you talk to your children about the cycles of life?
Join the conversation on our socials @wildlings_forestschool or send us an email at hello@wildlingsforestschool.com.
Curious about how your child could benefit from a deeper connection with the natural world? Venture into the wild with us and secure your child’s spot in one of our forest school programs in Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast.
Written by Ellen Nesbitt. Ellen is a nature play advocate and creative writer with a passion for helping families connect with the outdoors. She is dedicated to exploring ways to nurture children's creativity, independence, wellbeing and love for nature.